mario party more like if you steal one more of my stars i’ll fucking murder you
"the bride will now recite her vows."
space. the final frontier. these are the voyages of the starship enterprise. its ongoing mission, to explore strange new worlds. to seek out new life and new civilizations. to boldly go where no one has gone before.
(Note: Source Links in the Years)
- 2017: tumblr user thatsmoderatelyraven’s fluffy chicken makes a guest star appearance at the new president’s inauguration. “it’s been my life goal to meet you” says the president
- 2020: tumblr has tripled the amount of blogs registered. Every pun imaginable has been made, all photos of random things in rooms have been taken in HD format, all quotes have been said. There are no more recognizable url’s, even fahjtekysuleirdtyrzdsd and jiput4qwar8tgahwsf8g9bosdiv are taken. It is a dark time. The end is near.
- 2023: Arthur has just begun its 26th season
The new voice actor’s voice has become so squeaky that only Arthur fans’ dogs can hear him
- 2025: scientists are still scrambling to figure out what “zigazig ahh” is so that they can give the spice girls what they really really want
the spice girls are getting impatient
war is upon us
- 2053: a girl lays on her bed wearing vintage ugg boots. ‘I was born in the wrong generation’ she sighs as she listens to taylor swift and cries over a one direction poster.
- 2066: physical contact has been outlawed. hug dealers tenderly embrace people in the dead of night and shady people hold hands in dark streets
- 2068: Sam Winchester is 85 years old. He begins to suffer severe heart problems caused by being old as fuck. Dean gets in his motorized wheelchair and goes to the nearest crossroads at a speed of 3mph and trades his soul for Sam’s life. It is at this point that even the crossroads demons are beginning to worry about the Winchesters’ unhealthy codependency problems.
- 2088: there is only one tree left. the tree is cut down and used to make a newspaper with the headline No More Trees
- 2137: You open your tumblr profile, again after many years. You click on the message box. 1 message. You click on it.
‘Yes, same here! :)’
And you don’t know what it was referring to beacause you don’t have a fucking sent messages box.
- 3009: a group of humans listen to boom boom pow. when fergie says that she is so 3008 they all stand shocked and realise. fergie is now behind the times. fergie herself has become 2000 and late. this is unbelievable news to the humans. hours later the planet descends into war and chaos.
- 4000: 500 years after the last great war.
Humanity survives in small nomadic tribes.
One tribe has uncovered an ancient artifact from before the wars. They believe if they can solve its riddle, they may be able to unite humanity once more.
What’s amazing is how well some of these fit together…
im gonna cry
My brother saved this document and everytime he gets angry at our neighbours for being loud he prints it to their wireless printer and you can hear the wife shout “Why the fuck would you print this AGAIN?!” to her son.
This is the best.
We used to call him Romeo in high school. He’s been calling me Juliet for the past 2 years, we are almost 30 now. He’s moving back to Houston in January. I think this means we haven to kill ourselves.
My jealousy is setting in and I can’t tell if its warranted or not. Either way I don’t like it. Everyone knows I demand a certain amount of attention because I tell everyone this. I didn’t get it tonight. So naturally I want to burn the earth around me to the ground. So fuck me, right?